Glennsorship: President or Paranoid Dictator?

                                          


FIRST AMENDMENT TRAMPLED! 
Co-President Glenn Refuses to Allow Free Speech:

The fundamental right of free speech has been raped by the Co-President of Harvard Model Congress, Glenn Alterman. After receiving the Historical Committee's newsletter, Glenn censored a routine article faithfully reporting the actual results of the mid-conference evaluations. The article was mildly critical of Glenn but he is so egotistical that he would not allow it, and instead printing embarrassing/studly pictures of HistCom staff.

It must also be noted that the article was truthfully reported. Indeed, the article included complaints against its own writers. The article was completely true and in the sacred interest of free press we have included the original article (seen below).

Mid-Conference Evaluations in; Students Want Glenn Out! 

Delegates' mid-conference evaluations have been collected, and for the most part they are quite happy. Most staffers and board members are, in the eyes of the delegates, doing an excellent job.

However, sentiment has been overwhelming against co-president Glenn Alterman. Delegates are unhappy with his general unprofessionalism, but most complaints seem to simply be about his personality. “His voice is so annoying and boring!” said one delegate. “I wish he would just stop talking. Steve Rizoli does do a pretty sweet impression of him though.” There were numerous assertions that his head is just too big, and that he just ruins any kind of potential fun for anyone. To sum it all up, in the words of one delegate, “Glenn s- -ks.” 

The only other staffers who were criticized at length were HistComm's. Chair Steve Rizoli was described as “a real jerk,” “arrogant beyond belief,” and “too good looking; I can't focus in committee!” Vice chair Peter Bacon is described as a “horrible actor” who “looks like Dwight Schrute.” Students also complained that Junior Staffer Nick Castañeda was “Mexican.” 

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The delegates of the Historical Committee acted quickly to protest this outrageous censorship with Resolution 6.1, which could not be printed verbatim in fear of future tyrannical retaliation from Co-President/Aspiring Dictator Glenn. 

Delegates of Harvard Model Congress, we urge you to stand united with us in protest of this abridgment of free speech. If you see Glenn around, please let him know you disapprove of his actions.