LIberals Propose Their "Most Disgustingly Democratic Bill"

By Bonnie Stoller
The Peanut Gallery
on Banking, Housing & Urban Affairs:

Boos were heard around the room today as Democrats and Republicans threw down the gauntlet regarding a new public healthcare bill. Outspoken Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA) crying, “Let’s just write the most disgustingly democratic bill we can,” proved her party’s unwillingness to compromise during an unmoderated partisan caucus. The proposed bill, a brainchild of the Democrats, includes stipulations that would expand public care and include H1N1 and pneumonia vaccines as part of the general program.

Republicans were concerned that taxing care packages would not provide sufficient funds to fuel the healthcare expansion, a point that Democrats refused to consider. “Research isn’t going to help people,” Feinstein declared. Republicans, however, stood their ground. Upon hearing the Democrats’ proposal for higher taxes as a fund source, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) asserted his party’s sentiment: “I’m not going to let that happen.”

Both parties agreed on the necessity for accountability and transparency within the system. Worried about the efficiency of fund usage, the GOP is proposing that public healthcare be limited to critical care and primary care for infants of the ages zero to two years. Republicans believe this strategy will work to save costs in the future. Democrats and Republicans alike conceded that a formal definition of the purpose of public healthcare was essential, as well as the elimination of unnecessarily costly services.